A New Normal, Part 3

Wherein I continue the meeting between me and another missionary.

Clergy, not laymen

“A New Normal” is a multi-part story of how I came to be a Missionary to Papua New Guinea. Click Here to read the second installment, and Here to read the first.


I have made a decision. At the end of the last installment of  "A New Normal, Part 2" I told you I was going to tell you what the newly-called missionary told me. I have decided that I am only going to tell you half of what he told me. At the end you will know why, although you will not be satisfied. But you will understand, in part, why I pursued the missionary field. At least, I think you will. Alright, here goes.

We were at a play date. There were three families present: Two seminarian-families and one layman-family.

Tangential aside (which might just win the award of "earliest 'tangential aside' in writing history"): I do not like the word 'layman'. Although I know, understand, and agree with its meaning and usage, I object to its sound. Before I continue, allow me to insert the definition, taken from www.dictionary.com:

Layman

noun, plural laymen.

1. a person who is not a member of the clergy; one of the laity.

2. a person who is not a member of a given profession, as law or medicine.

George Washington, layman

Now I am going to ask you to do something. I need you to take action; you must participate in this exercise before you can continue this blog with any hope of grasping my meaning. What I ask is simple, and almost anyone can do it.

You need to say the word 'layman' out loud. Do not do this if you are an air-traffic controller. In that case wait until your break or when you are off work so as to avert disaster. Everyone else, including babies, should say it...right...now!

Some of you said  /lay-mun/  and blurred the 'm' and the 'n' almost into the same sound. Others said  /lay-min/  because you were trying to emphasize the 'man' portion. It really doesn't matter how you said the second part, because both of you said the first part correctly. Congratulate yourself. Now continue...

Albert Einstein, layman

What everyone heard is the 'y' and the 'm' blur together. and that is the root of my dislike. Now watch as I transform a perfectly kind word into an insult. I begin by separating the word into syllables, then transition them into similar sounding equivalents. Regretfully, the end result will shock you.

lay - man
laym - man
lam - man
lame - man

Lame man!!

See?? Now do you understand!?? That is what I hear every time the word is said aloud. No, I do not assume the speaker meant to be demeaning or degrading. No, I do not launch into a long-winded explanation of the audible derivative of their utterance. No, I am not calling for an end to the ministry because of a poor-sounding designation. Neither am I demanding an end to the clerical distinction because of an unfortunate aural association.


I have an idea about how to fix this. As tempting as it would be to include the clergy in our plight and call them 'non-layman', I think we should leave them alone and come up with something new to describe ourselves. I suggest going with the opposite meaning and using that to create our new word. Since the opposite of 'lame' is 'cool' we simply go with:

Coolman

We will also accept Awesomeman, Magnificentman, Wonderfulman, or...Wait, I've got it!

Superman

Here ends my tangential aside, and this article. To be continued (began) in part 4...



In the next installment of A New Normal, I will get around to actually telling you historic information about me becoming a missionary without getting side-tracked off into coo-coo land. Hopefully there will be some of you who will stick around to read it.


p.s. The families, briefly mentioned, belong to: Pastor Christopher Gerdes, Pastor Peter Haugen, and Superman Michael Ritzman.